The Lost Art of Happiness

emotional healing stress management Jul 18, 2022

Health, like wealth, is not much use without happiness. Happiness gives us a stronger immune system and less stress.

How to be happy

  • Don't take your thoughts so seriously. If you have a thought like "I screwed up", "I'm not good enough", or "How come I never get it right", just let the thought go. It's just a thought. Thoughts are like waves on the ocean, they come and go, don’t hang on to them. Everyone does good things and dumb things, that's just the way we are. You are still a lovable human being who deserves to be happy.

  • Be in the present moment. Thoughts of the past or the future, “if only I...” or “what if...” will sabotage your feelings of happiness. Forgive the past, maybe it gave you an inner strength. A positive outlook on what you have learned will give you the capacity to make good decisions for a better future. Accept what is, change what is in your control and be willing to let go of the things you cannot.

  • Don’t take your beliefs so seriously. Beliefs are personal, they are not facts, just strong beliefs. Our personalities and ideas of ourselves are always changing. Our beliefs change as we evolve and change. Life is change!

  • Balance self-care with caring for others. Generally, unhappy people spend most of their time thinking about themselves. When we truly nurture ourselves first, we are energized and have more to give to others.

  • Be mindful of becoming a slave to others’ desires. There are needy people who attach themselves to people who are always willing to help. Those people will soon burn you out. So, help others, but recognize your own limits and stick to your boundaries.

  • Depending on people and things to make us happy is not productive. Work on finding happiness within.

  • Your happiness does not depend on others being happy. People will change if and when they are ready. You are the source of your own happiness.

  • Don’t try to change others. It is common for people to want to change their spouses and it is a losing battle. We are happier when we give space for others to be who they are. Our lives are enriched by enjoying the company of people not like ourselves. That’s probably what attracted you to that person in the first place.

  • Pamper yourself regularly. What do you love to do? Every day spend some time doing things you love to do, and every week take time out to really pamper yourself.

  • Recognize that your moods are always changing. Sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down. Don’t dwell on the down times, let them pass. Those can be good opportunities for pampering yourself. Sometimes when I am in a down mood I like to listen to sad music or watch a sad movie. That allows me to enjoy the mood, without dwelling on myself or making the mood about me. Sometimes I’ll do the opposite, listen to happy music or watch a comedy. If I’m lucky it brings me up again.

  • Have purpose in your life. Figure out what you want to achieve or discover or learn or create. Go out and start working towards those goals. And keep coming up with new ones. Some people set a fairly lofty goal, then if they actually reach it, they get depressed because they lived their whole life for that one goal. There are limitless possible goals on this earth.

  • Don’t try to be happy. Just don’t worry, be happy. It is the true you!

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